gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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