I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize