Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
