there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
