you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
