Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
