Me too!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
