i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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