why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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