Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
