Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Ladies don't puke and tell
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
