would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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