college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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