I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
