she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
barbara walters just said penis...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
