i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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