she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
