Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
