But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
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