Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
