Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
