; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
