I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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