Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Be still, my beating vagina.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
