Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
