so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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