He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
