I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
