He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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