Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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