do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
