im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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