so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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