There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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