he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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