I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
