You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize