Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
