I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize