I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
