The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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