i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize