help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
