You really coming over, don't trick.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
