I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
