I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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