So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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