Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize