My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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