He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The beer is more important than you right now.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
