He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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