Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
