you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Randomize
