What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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