So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize