Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize