I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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