so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
