The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
