I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
