you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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