we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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