Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
