Whod you bang
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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