Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The ass gains better be worth it
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
