ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
